Sonic plus Austin Powers Combined: Egg Powers in Bat Spears
by KingRaikou2
Summary: A short Sonic the Hedgehog and Austin Powers crossover story featuring the man with an IQ of 300, imagining what he would be like if he was a man with a lot of pizzazz and some mojo to spare. Rated T for suggestive themes.


A Short Sonic the Hedgehog fic (based off a scene from Austin Powers in Goldmember): Egg Powers in Spears

One day, in a hidden hut in Green Hill Zone, Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik was sitting in his computer room, thinking.

"I hate that hedgehog!" Dr. Eggman exclaimed. "And I hate my lack of shape! Oh, if only I was this cool, charming, musclebound son of a gun, i'd be much more credible! Oh, I can only dream."

Dr. Eggman was all alone. Orbot and Cubot were out looking for supplies to make sandwiches. With nothing to do, Dr. Robotnik decided to use his imagination. He sat down and fantasized about what he would look like as a groovy guy with a lot of pizzazz.

Cut to the fantasy...

Dr. Eggman is a slim guy with glasses, no moustache, a fine suit, black shoes and lots of energy and optimism. A flock of girl fans and boy fans were behind him, and he was standing right next to Sonic the Hedgehog, who wore a grey suit and had a scar on his right eye.

"I'll get you, Egg Powers!" Sonic declared. "You haven't seen the last of me, Blue Evil!" He ran off into a movie studio, dashing through headlights and set pieces until he was out in the street.

"That's the end of the pain in HIS back." Egg Powers said, followed by a laugh.

Egg Powers strolled off into the distance with his legion of fans, doing a collection of random things along the way. He did a rain dance with Knuckles, had a rave party with Tikal and Chaos, got cozy for a while with Blaze and Vanilla, made a statue in the shape of Amy in a matter of seconds and created an orchestral score with Vector.

"I'm surrounded by people!" Egg Powers whooped. He patted Vector on the head, who responded by pulling a door out of nowhere.

Egg Powers and his fans marched their way through the streets, happily and excitedly. This was the life. Eventually, they ran into a giant pair of doors. It opened before their eyes, and then they went through. They winded up inside a music studio.

"Alright, everybody!" shouted Shadow the Hedgehog through a megaphone. "Music video, take 2!"

On the other end of the room was a gang of shirtless boys with black trousers, and with them was Rouge the Bat, in all of her beautiful glory, wearing an arousing outfit, consisting of a black leather bikini top, black trousers, black high heel boots and a navel piercing.

"It's Rouge!" Egg Powers yelled with ecstacy.

"Action!" Shadow called out.

Two purple flames burst out of the around Rouge and the boys next to her and she began to dance in alluring motions.

"Guys, oh when a girl is with you!" Rouge sang. "I get nasty. Guys, then she's in control! And you know it, yeah, OW!"

Egg Powers saw this as an opportunity for a challenge, so he and his fan began snapping their fingers constantly and approached the singing bat. Rouge and her men did the same.

"What good would it take for you to try and stay with me?" Rouge continued her song. "I don't mean to sound so mean but you and I were meant to be!" She waltzed up to Egg Powers and strutted towards him. "Guys! Sometimes a girl just needs one!" Egg Powers responded by showing off his muscles, but Rouge retaliated by stretching her arms out and holding her hands behind her head. "I get nasty, guys! Another end to hold!" Egg Powers tried to keep up, but Rouge shrugged off his efforts and did a belly dance while stroking her hands down her body. "I get nasty, guys!" Egg Powers shook his butt at Rouge and did a pelvic thrust, which Rouge bounced back at by showing her exposed back. Right after that, Rouge held out her hand to Egg Powers and he took it. They spun around, their respective followers surrounding them. "When a girl is with one! I get nasty, guys!" Rouge stopped when everyone else did, and she thrusted her right hip at Egg Powers and put her left index finger up to her lips while pointing at him with her right index finger. Egg Powers was stunned.

"I think i'm in love." Egg Powers murmured.

Suddenly, Rouge pointed her big chest in Egg Powers' direction, and before everyone's eyes, two small, grey gun barrels popped out of her bikini top.

"Oh!" Egg Powers cried.

Rouge began shaking her chest back and forth in another eye-catching motion, firing bullets out of her breast like a machine gun. Egg Powers and his fans ducked for cover and ran towards the musical equipment. Rouge fired out bullets until she there was smoke and debri flying all over the place, and her bosom made a clicking sounding, verifying that she ran out of firepower. Rouge's men watched on and applauded for her.

"Guys, and when a girl is near you!" Rouge sang again. "I get nasty, guys! Then we're in control! Oh!"

Fortunately, Egg Powers was still alive, and he busted out of the debris, stripped of his shirt. The sight of him without his shirt hit Rouge with an uncanny force.

"You're smoking hot!" Egg Powers complimented the confident bat. "But now I have to smoke you!"

Rouge smirked at Egg Powers, showing off her cleavage and showing how confident she was. Egg Powers made a smug grin, and Rouge's men ran away, frightened. Egg Powers showed off his exposed muscles, making Rouge stumble back. Egg Powers grabbed her and massaged her back momentarily, making her head shake for a split second. He shook his butt, making Rouge's head shake up and down rapidly for a mere second, Egg Powers held up his arms and put his hands togethers on his neck, making a tiger noise. Rouge's head sporadically shook out of control and her chest began to rumble. Egg Powers did a pelvic thrust, which made Rouge's head stop, but her gun implanted breasts continued to bounce. Egg Powers quickly threw his hands down at this crotch and Rouge's head began to spin wildly, releasing sparks as her breasts started to inflate. Finally, Egg Powers let out of a big "OW!", and Rouge's head spun faster and faster, her breasts growing larger and larger, until her whole upper body exploded in a giant cluster of electricity and fire.

"Love hurts, baby!" Egg Powers stated with a confident grin.

Returning to reality...

Dr. Eggman is standing up in front of his computer, done with playing out the scenes in his fantasy.

"Wait, do I really have that big of a thing for Rouge?" Dr. Eggman questioned himself. "So, this is me, the great super-genius Dr. Eggman on his down time. I'm attracted to an 18-year old bat girl, I eat nothing but sandwiches and cheeseburgers with milkshakes and fizzy drinks, I have no idea what I could go with my evil plans next, all I have for company are my idiot companions, I wear the same clothes everyday, and I don't have a real job. Curse you, boredom! You will feel my wrath, and tell Sonic the Hedgehog that I will be get him next time!"

THE END!

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